hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
