so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
