He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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