Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
