Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
