He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
