Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
