go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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