I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize