haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
