you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
