woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
