Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize