Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
