Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
