How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
