I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Bring me that man meat
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
