Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
