I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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