I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
