So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize