you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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