I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I accidentally burped into my bong.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
