Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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