what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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