thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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