god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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