weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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