I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
