We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
