And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
