do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
