Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
