you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You took a bar mat shot.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is Oprah even human
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
