They should really pass out barf bags in church
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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