Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
they need to just BURY HIM!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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