i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
