There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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