We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
