the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
These tits shall not be calmed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
