The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
