yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize