i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and she was petting her beer can
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
