his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
