Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
