So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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