There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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