Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
