I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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