in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
