Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
