I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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