Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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