I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
