You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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